A Ham and Salami on White Please

So it is an annoyance of mine when people eat on the subway. I believe I am so grossed out because eating is a messy and often smelly habit to begin with that is now multiplied when we are all packed in so closely. The egg salad sandwich of the person standing next to you now becomes your egg salad sandwich. Only you don’t get to eat any of it, nor would you want to. Also, with people from all ends of the spectrum ethnicity and hygiene wise you never really know what anyone is really shoving in their mouths. I am not alone on this- it is against the rules and you are supposed to get fined for eating on the train

The 6 is packed as usual in the evening rush hour but luckily I get a seat. As I squish myself between two people, the women who I had the luck of sitting next to pulls a Subway sandwich out of a paper bag. I am actually going to label said person as a he/she. Although I originally judge her as a women the more I study I realize he/she is clearly of an ambiguous kind. He/she is dressed in the most horribly gender neutral clothes possible with a classic she-man haircut (see early post.)

I try not to pay attention to the chewing and gobbling that is going on a few inches away from my face. Honey mustard is spewing out of the sandwich and dripping all down his/her hands and arms. Since there is no room to inch away I try to pretend I am in another place. This person then does something impossible to block out. Once finished, he/she stuffs all the Subway wrappings back into the bag and begins to start LICKING the mustard off herself. And not just a little cleaning of the fingertips like many people sometimes do in the privacy of their homes. I am talking tongue going everywhere, even licking all the way down his/her arm. Like a giraffe cleaning her young.

Really?